Meeting the Criteria
by Draegyn
Summary: Antimagic curse plus staff meeting plus Dumbledore equals poor Snape


Title: Meeting the Criteria

Author: Draegyn

Rating: g

Pairing: read and find out

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter which means I don't get paid for writing about him which means I don't have to guarantee that it's good. So there.

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Home: ?user=draegyn

Betas: Val and Finyda

Archive: Part of the From Dusk till Dawn Severus Snape/Harry Potter Fuh-Q-Fest at 

Challenge: 101. Hogwarts has an anti-magic spell thrown on it. How do the residents of Hogwarts reverse it? (Kira)

"And that's the situation," Albus finished, "Voldemort's last curse reacted with the school wards and instead of destroying the magic of a certain few, it belatedly created a field of anti-magic around Hogwarts."

The silence was oppressive and Severus Snape was not the only one to be affected by it. Typically, the school's crazy headmaster seemed immune to the atmosphere surrounding him. The defeat and subsequent destruction of the Dark Lord by the almighty Harry Potter seemed to have left Albus at loose ends. Scheming apparently had become a habit for the old fossil and it was one he was having trouble breaking.

"The good news is that it failed in reaching its objective. Young Harry's magic is perfectly fine aside from this bothersome anti-magic field, as strong as ever."

Severus sneered, inwardly regretful that Potter would be able to finish the year as planned rather than be kicked out for muggle-ness three months early. Still, if he could wait twenty years to curse Black into St. Mungos, then Severus could wait three months to get rid of Potter for good.

"The bad news is that, unless we act within the next twenty-four hours, the anti-magic field will become permanent, rendering Hogwarts mundane."

Which would mean that they would have to build an entirely new school somewhere else. Maybe he could finally get a classroom and office that didn't leak this time round.

"There is, of course, a solution to our dilemma."

Of course. And no doubt it would involve Severus, willing or not.

"The structure of the field is such that, if we can provide a strong enough burst of raw power, that it would erode a gap in the field that would cause a cascading reaction that would destroy the entire field and return Hogwarts to normal."

It would probably be painful or humiliating to boot.

"Our options here are limited though."

Naturally.

"None of us, singly, are strong enough to accomplish this."

Severus snorted softly to himself. Not even the sainted Potter? Then what use was the brat?

Albus looked at him reproachfully as he continued. The manipulative bugger had probably read his mind. "Therefore we need to look into methods of power raising. Specifically, ritual magic involving one or two individuals."

Well that cut back their options.

Filius fell off his chair. Next to him, Minerva looked at him in concern as he scrambled back up again, exclaiming, "_Headmaster!_ Surely you don't mean… _Blood_ Magick?"

Severus perked up. That would be moderately interesting.

Albus, the rotten spoilsport, shook his head. "No, the level of power we require would demand a death at the very least."

Severus barely refrained from jumping up and gleefully nominating Neville Longbottom. In fact, they had a whole school of potential sacrifices. He would have drooled at the thought of the power that would have involved but he realised that, if Blood Magick was out, there was only one option left. One he certainly wanted nothing to do with. He started formulating escape routes.

"I believe the best possibility for success involves sexual magick."

Severus wasn't the only one who paled at that announcement. He was simply one of the few who had reasoned ahead far enough to know it was coming and to have already considered the options. The other professors might have been surreptitiously glancing at each other, wondering who would need to bite the bullet (there was a reason staff fraternisation was never a problem), but Severus was wondering how the hell he could escape.

Albus' twinkle itself had become markedly wan, proving that even the great Dumbledore could be knocked off balance. Still, the old wizard ploughed on ahead, "I have devised a list of qualifications for the candidates that will create the most advantageous conditions for raising power in this manner."

If he left his seat now, no matter how stealthily, they would see him and Hooch would tackle him to the floor. He could see it already.

"It goes without saying that both parties must be powerful."

Trelawney and Hagrid both looked relieved, that spared both of them… lucky sods.

"Skill with wandless magic would be advantageous."

Dammit, but at least that left Sprout out.

"Self-discipline must be extraordinary, as exemplified by animagi, legilimens and occulemens."

Filius was not the only one to let out a gusty sigh of relief. Severus was not one of them.

"It would help if there was a high level of emotion between them."

Severus exchanged an appalled look with Minerva and then both looked back at Albus. Oh god…

"And, of course, both have to be virgin."

Minerva grinned in relief, the cat, and Severus could only look at the headmaster, the _one hundred and seventy_ _year old_ headmaster in utter horror. It did not relieve him that Albus looked no more enthusiastic about this than he did.

"That leaves you and me, Severus. I'm afraid I will need to ask you for a potion, however. I'm not as young as I used to be.

Severus paled and, with that horrendous thought in mind, he furiously considered his options. Of all the crimes he had committed in his youth, why had the only one he'd refrained from been rape? He ran through the criteria again, searching for a way out and found one. Although which alternative was worse was debateable, there might be blood spilt after all.

"Very well," he agreed, tight-lipped as he rose jerkily. "I will participate in this… abomination. I will even go so far as to see that I am…" he bared his teeth in something not even Albus could pretend was a smile, "_degreased_." He stalked to the door and turned so that he could meet Albus' eyes directly. "In return, you will have Potter presented to me, in my quarters, prepared and… cleaned, promptly at seven. If I have to bed the brat, I want it to be as tolerable as possible."

He stalked out, leaving an insulted, but relieved Albus Dumbledore behind him.


End file.
